Happiness is a Kid Getting their Very Own Blanket

Friends, good morning from lovely Minneapolis, soon to be Washington DC, from your good friend Sarah.  I owe you more Bad Wedding Reception party pictures, and you know when I promise you something you WILL have it, but I need another day to just…recover…from that badass party.

 
The bills got paid, and I took a moment to let it sink in just how many hours I worked to be able to have this kind of high end party:  let’s just say it was a hell of a lot of hours.  A lot.  We need to take a minute today to talk about the duality of throwing an event like this.  There are important lessons here today.
 
Weddings, even fake weddings, are expensive.  This was not a cheap event to throw (DJ alone was $700 plus tip).  Now add on top of that costs for 115 for the food from HauteDish, the room rental, the booze bill, the decorations, the groceries and non-alcoholic drinks, the meals for the people who were volunteers to set up and take down, the printing of programs, the clean-up bill.  No company paid for that except mine, and that is, me.  I paid for that, because I take good care to thank those who support my business and support the charities in which I believe.   My money goes where my mouth and heart are, always.
 
I do not like having that taken for granted, and there were those that not only took me for granted but also did not put their best face forward when it comes to this charity. We are going to talk about that today, because you know me well enough to know that I do not shy away from the topics that need to be discussed.  I may be a Minnesota girl, but I am also a businesswoman who can tell it like it is.  Let’s get into it.
 
The invitation list had a waiting list, because we had a fire code cap of how many people could be in the room at once.   Sometimes it came down to a decision of “is this invitee worth this much money, plus is their guest, because this is an expensive investment in my business, and this money comes directly out of my bank account.”  People who dropped out last minute or were no shows meant that others could have attended if they had 4-5 days’ notice, but since they did not, those people could not attend, and that food went to waste, and those kids did not get the blankets and dishes and towels they needed.
 
Can we take a minute to have a lesson learning about party etiquette?  Can we talk about how important it is for a homeless kid to have a blanket?
 
This party was a barnburner of success---this party had 115 people and was one of the best nights of my life.  I was so excited about how many people were thrilled to support this charity and be part of this event.  But.  And you know there is a but, and that we need to talk about that…..
 
There were a number of people who rsvp’d “yes coming with a guest” and either did not bother to show up and/or cancelled in the 24 hours just before the event, which was pre-paid by me on a per person headcount cost.  Imagine how that impacts my bank account, imagine how that prevented others who really wanted to be there and could not get in because of the full invitee list, and how this impacted what could have been given to the charity.
 
It’s one thing if 1-2 people cancel, and it’s another if the numbers are in the double digits. “Maybes” are not only not polite, they are downright rude.  How do you plan food/booze/space for 15 “maybes?” You either make this charity a priority and commit to it, or you don’t.  I get feisty when it comes to talking about kids being looked after, and so I do feel a need to point this out today, because not enough people talk about things like this.  Not enough people remember how to act like we were raised right. 
 
If my pointing this out helps people be more mindful when it comes to making a commitment to kids and then backing out and you don’t like me as much for it?  I’m ok with that. 
 
This was not a chips and salsa party, this was a benefit for families and kids who need blankets and dishes in their first home.  While my bank accounts will recover, in a while, those kids could have had a better life, could have had dishes to eat off and silverware again that wasn’t plastic from Subway.
 
I think I made my point.  Somebody had to say it.  You know I love all of you, but you also know I will say the things that need to be said, whether it’s the “I love you and believe in you” or “You really screwed up here.”  It takes courage and moxie to be able to say what we really feel, and God knows I am courageous and have my share of moxie, and I am generous, and I am kind and thoughtful, but I am also not going to be a doormat or someone’s back-up plan any longer, and neither will the charities I support.  You see, Friends, little Sarah finally sees that she and the things she believes in are worthy.  More on that later, but this explains why I am on fire today with my little sermon. I am aware, and I’m ok with it.
 
I had the best party of my life---this was the best party I think I have ever been to.  The positive energy in that room was incredible and carried people through the night and into their workweek with a smile on their face. That is what I focus on, that is what I am so grateful for. These families now have over $3400 worth of household items that will make these kids’ lives just a little easier, just a little more normal, just a little better, thanks to so many of you that stepped up and were your best selves.  That is the good news.  That is the awesome news that I focus on 98% of the time, because it was a beautiful night of giving and sharing and all out happiness.  The flip side is the percentage of people who did not follow through.
 
People are counting on you to be what you say you will be.  Let us all make a point to do that, always. No more rsvps of “maybe”.  No more “We’ll be there!” and not showing up.  Be a stand up guy.  Treat people as you want to be treated.  And look after those kids, because they are worth it.
 
I’ll be back to lighthearted funny fun Sarah tomorrow.  Today I am a businesswoman and a champion of children, because I believe in that and them with all my heart.  Living a life that aligns with what I believe makes me happy, even if that means I have to say the difficult things that need saying now and then.  Just like in the Four Agreements, let us all be impeccable in our word, especially when it comes to kids.
 
For those of you who made donations and gave firm rsvps, thank you!  I hope you feel as warm in your heart as I do when I think about a family sitting down around the table for the first time in their new home, saying their prayers over their first dinner together and finally feeling normal for the first time as they pull their lives together again, tucked in as a little boy who has his very own blanket for the first time in his life.  That, right there, is love in its best form, and that is what makes me happy today. Sometimes all it takes is a $25 blanket from Target.  Think about that next time you buy a round of drinks or tuck yourselves in at night.  We are so lucky.
 
With lots of love (even though I’m holding a ruler in my hand and whacking knuckles, you know I still love you),
 
Your Good Friend Sarah