Friends,
greetings from New York City, soon to be home sweet home, Minneapolis,
Minnesota, before other home sweet home, Brussels, Belgium.
I
have been quiet lately, thinking, processing, taking in all the things I am
experiencing and going through and trying my best to make sense of them. My man and I working on things, trying to
figure out long distance and love and the complications of busy and challenging....life, and that
is my priority right now, but that has to be private. He is the best part of my world, and I miss
him terribly when we are not together, which is why I keep myself so busy in
restaurants and in life, learning, always learning, how to be better, softer, kinder, wiser, because I want to be my best not just for me, but for him, too.
As
always, I have lots of thoughts to share, but I’ll keep on task today, because I
need to write about the restaurant industry, to get these thoughts written down
before they slip away.
I
have seen a lot of kitchens around the world.
I have been to 37 countries’ markets and restaurants and 49 of the 50
states. I have picked I cannot tell you
how many crates of herbs, zested I cannot even count how many lemons and limes,
peeled so many potatoes and sunchokes and beets and carrots and you name it
that I can’t even count that high. Each
time I come into a new place, I come in cold, having them teach me from the
ground up, to learn how they teach someone who may not (or actually may) know
how to do something those people are exceptional at doing. When I come into someplace new, I want to
watch and listen and learn why and how they do exactly what they do, from the
simplest to the most complicated task.
They might think I am stupid, but I am not stupid. I am careful to learn well.
I
have seen a lot of operating suites around the world. I have attended I cannot tell you how many
heart procedures, heart surgeries, stent placements in the leg, the heart, the
carotid arteries, the prostate, the external sphincter (that’s right, spinal
cord injury patients are unique surgical challenges that we have to handle very
carefully.) I have attended spinal cord
procedures, cochlear implants, artificial bowel sphincter placements, penile
implant surgeries, breast removals, pain medication infusion pump procedures, artificial
inseminations, babies’ births, gynecological surgeries. I have seen vasectomies, bladder biopsies, a
ton of prostatectomies, other laparoscopies, and I even have pictures of my own
thyroid surgery, thanks to the doctors who took pictures when I insisted I
wanted to see them when I woke up. I
have been there when patients learned they had cancer or were infertile. I have been there when patients learned they
miscarried. I have been there when
patients died. I have comforted and
listened to a lot of stories from a lot of people all over the world.
In
these experiences, I learned what makes us all the same, everywhere. We all eat, if we are lucky. We all work, if we are lucky (or not so
lucky, in some cases). We all have or
want families, if we are lucky. We all
love, if we are lucky. These are the
things that are the same. The things
that are different are who has what money and how they got it. To be able to do all these things, money
often helps, and for this reason, I learned a lot about business, too.
I
have written and seen a lot of business plans, in the medical world, in business
school, for hundreds of restaurants and restaurant ideas, for entrepreneur ideas,
and at hundreds of conferences, around the world. I have picked apart and bolstered up business
plans for I cannot tell you how many people: as a professor, in lectures, in
classes I teach, in my job, in my personal life over coffee, over drinks, over
dinners and late night pajama sessions and pillow talks.
Last
year I was on 6 continents, and I have set up businesses on two. I have researched setting up businesses on 2
others which I turned down after careful analyses.
I
have seen a lot, I have been through a lot, I have lived….a lot. Some people pick up on that and appreciate
it, others are afraid of it and mock it without understanding it, and others
get thoughtful and put it to good use.
We’ll talk about that in a minute.
First, though, I want to get back to my restaurants here in New York.
This
gig of mine in New York, putting myself through the grueling world of a place
where I am at the very bottom, in restaurants of exceptional caliber and
talent, was intentionally humbling and hard---so, so, so hard. I do it on purpose for two reasons, well,
three, really, if you want to include business development in my medical world. Let’s count that as reason one, and let’s
count reason two as the awareness of the critical importance to never, ever
feel like you are better than anyone. I
know I am not. The more I learn about
myself, the smaller I feel, knowing just how much more there is to learn about,
well, everything, really.
There
are areas of this world where I know more, where I have more experience, but I
am no better than anyone. As a woman
with confidence, though, and balls of steel, which you all know that I have, it
is important to also balance that with a gentleness, a femininity, a
kindness. That is reason 3 I work in
kitchens as the lowest of the low. I
want to help people, because that is what makes me happy, and that is what I am
good at---really good at. Any of you who
have been in crisis mode with me know that you want me on your team, you want
me there with you, because I can handle it.
When
I walk into a kitchen, I easily “speak food,” being able to dissect a dish and
menu because I have a fairly decent pallete.
I know my vegetables and fruits and how to grow, harvest, and prepare
them because of time on our family farm.
I know the words of the preparation in commercial kitchens to a point,
because I have read all of the same cookbooks and articles and texts that all
of those best chefs have, I just do not have all the skills in my hands in
order to execute. This is what I wanted
to learn, along with the process of how those chefs all teach learning and how
they learn, themselves. This is
important in my line of work, in medicine, and this is important in my life, as
Sarah, because I learn how to live better, to love better, to teach better, to
be better. It reminds me just how much
more there is to learn, always.
What
I bring to the kitchens for them is free labor, an opportunity for them to
practice teaching someone new, and a decent work ethic. I have even been there when someone was
choking and when a couple people were cut, watching carefully to make sure, as
a trained first responder in the medical world, that everything was ok, and
knowing when to jump in and when to stand back and watch quietly. I bring on-time work, never taking too long
on breaks, and I bring a sense of responsibility to take good care of their
inventory, their costs, their equipment, their people.
What
the kitchens have all missed, here in New York, is what they could have been
learning, also, from me. This surprised
me, because I ‘fit’ here in New York, as I, too, have had a lot of experiences
in a lot of places.
They
could have talked to me about business.
They could have asked me what I loved near and far as an eater, an
invester, a watcher, a do-er, an analyzer, a business owner. They could have asked me about the trends in
Belgium, Budapest, Amsterdam, Dominican Republic, and even the Midwest, as I have
been to all of those places in the past 3 months alone. Only a handful have taken the opportunity to
take me out for a beer to learn about how I could have helped them, too, even
though I have been available and eager to build on those friendships which have
been so important to me.
They
do not care or realize that I invest in restaurants, knowing full on ahead of
time that I will be losing that money, because most restaurants have to close
up shop before you make true profit, unless you franchise the heck out of them
or work out a profit turn and burn approach to keep afloat for more than 5
years or so. They did not even realize
that I could have been an investor in them, as people, but also as a
businesswoman, in the future. If only
they had asked.
These
places did not care that I know a whole network of people who would could
invest in something fun outside of their lives as surgeons and business owners
and CEOs. They did not care to ask me
how I, too, market myself or franchise myself or keep things fresh. They do not care how I humble myself because I
am a long-time experienced business owner and manager of incredibly hardworking
teams, and I know how to balance both worlds, on purpose, because I have lost
and won, more than once.
All
this time they had a free consultant, management expert, marketing expert, and
professor who could have stood next to them for hours, peeling Brussels sprout
leaves and talking business as we did it, and for the most part, most of them
just…didn’t bother.
And
so here I am, tired, so very tired, finally having become so worn out that I
committed the ultimate kitchen sin this morning when I cancelled my day of
kitchen work (which you do NOT do, ever, out of respect for Chef and team). I simply could not close my hands today,
after yesterday’s 2+ hours of peeling sunchokes in a 37 degree walk in cooler
(no joke…you try it sometime), followed by 7 more hours of other small hand
work of repetitive motions. My hands are
too old, and I am not used to this kind of work. I was a wreck this morning after a day in
that incredibly talented kitchen, I hurt so much from top to toe. I couldn’t handle it. I owe that Chef a big
apology, which I have given, but must repeat.
Here
I am, though, weary, having invested thousands of dollars of time I could have been
billing for but instead invested in myself and in these teams and these
restaurants I loved. I offered to take
them to dinners, to have the opportunity not just for me to learn about their
stories---where they came from, how they got here, where they are going—but also
the chance for them to spend time with me:
learning about trends, asking about my experiences, dreaming how to get their
own restaurants some day or identify which are good business models or how to
market themselves or continuously learn and be inspired, globally. A few of them joined me, but most of them
discounted me altogether. I am no
fool---as much as I have made tremendous friends here, I have seen the eye
rolling behind my back and even in front of me by some pretty talented chefs. I have overheard the conversations and
announcements that I think I am ‘too good’ for restaurants when I had to shift
my schedule to accommodate my paying job of setting up and overseeing medical
research protocols, studies and research procedures. It definitely was not that I was too good for
it---it is that I am not good enough for it.
I am no longer SuperWoman and cannot manage 2 jobs, especially when one
includes conference calls at 2am sometimes, to accommodate my team in Europe or
Japan. When it comes to me having unpaid
play time in restaurants and me protecting patients, patients will always win.
I
watched and listened and took mental notes in these kitchens. What a missed opportunity, not for me,
because I learned a lot by watching this and got what I wanted and needed, but I
do see a missed opportunity for them.
The
most important thing I learned in this life and in my businesses is that real
world feedback, especially from people and places that are as far apart from
your regular world as possible, can be the most revealing, the most important
feedback you can ever get. I have been
blessed with this experience, this opportunity, because I got humbled and
humbled hard, but I have now taken exactly what I needed from this experience
in order to go back to my ‘real life’ and teach my teams and people to never,
ever, forget to look around and listen and learn from everyone, no matter where
they are from, because those the precious moments that most people…..miss…and
those are the moments that set us apart from everyone else, when we can capture
them and celebrate them and humble ourselves and learn from them. And I did.
It
is an interesting day for me, with this realization of my own value that was
overlooked, because usually I am so busy telling everyone just how good they
are, forgetting to turn that bright light on myself, forgetting to stop and
say, “Hey wait a minute, Sarah, you’re not so bad yourself and I want to hear
what you think and have to say.”
Today
was the day I did just that, and today was the day I realized it is time for me
to wrap up my kitchen time, hug my friends here, and make the plans to come
home, stronger, softer, kinder, and wiser.
What an experience it has been, and how lucky I am that so many people
taught me so much here. I only wish I
would have been given the opportunity to do the same. Someday.
Someday, friends, you just wait..I just might get that chance to help
after all.
For
now, though, I send you love from New York, to wherever you are in the world,
because I think of you all so often and am so grateful for you and what you
have taught me. I have come through my
trial of fire with a few burns and bruises and more than a few stories, but I
am intact, and I am ready for what comes next.
One of these days, just maybe, you’ll want to come along with me, but
until then, I send you love and a quick hug, as always, as I am off again, not
running, but walking, arms open, to be welcomed….home.
With
a special thank you to my favorite Frenchman and one of my favorite chefs, who
always knows just when to listen to me and what to say and takes the time to
say it,
Your
Good Friend Sarah
